


Hipster WolfStar

by facelessoldwoman



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Hipsters, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-01-01
Updated: 2015-02-27
Packaged: 2018-03-04 19:47:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 22
Words: 16,817
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3086453
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/facelessoldwoman/pseuds/facelessoldwoman
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Remus Lupin doesn't know how to like things unironically, and piercing-obsessed barista Sirius Black has absolutely no patience for that.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Sweet Dreams are Made of Tips

Remus Lupin wasn’t in the mood to talk. Last night had been late night, and now it felt like all of his bad decisions were trying to kill him from the inside out: the sun scorched his irises, the sound of car horns pounded his ear canals like jackhammers, and, worst of all, shiny happy people filled every inch of space around him.

Remus felt as though everyone around him was collaborating to create a cabal of public cheerfulness and it was positively insufferable: kids playing in the park across the street yelled and laughed with annoying sincerity, a couple on a bench nearby held hands and giggled at some private joke. Remus thought he just might be able to handle it until a grandmother talking on a flip phone smiled at him. He groaned as he pulled his hood up and let his fringe cover his face.

It was all too much to take on an empty stomach. Remus ducked into a coffee shop in the hope that caffeine would alleviate his agony, or at least make everyone else’s happiness more palatable.

The line was long. Clusters of people wound past displays of commemorative mugs and gourmet beans from Central America while Colbie Caillat bubbled softly over the speakers. Remus waded through the winding line as impatient patrons in front of him tapped their feet at the checkout line. A blogger standing in front of the counter asked in vain for a secret menu item that sounded 100% made up, and everyone behind him sighed in exasperation.

Meanwhile, from his place in line Remus repeated his order in his head over and over again like a mantra, willing himself to say it clearly on the first attempt with no mistakes or follow up questions. The last thing Remus wanted to do today was to become yet another fumbling moron in a coffee shop who doesn’t know the difference between a caffè breve and an americano. Finally, finally, Remus took his turn at the register, and he was just about to recite his well-rehearsed order when he looked up at the barista.

The barista was … beautiful: pale skin and a devilish smile, the kind of smile that a shark would have if one of them suddenly became human. His hair was long and dark and it tumbled messily out of a faded green baseball hat. His ears were lined with piercings and Remus could almost see a tattoo at the base of his collar – almost, not quite.

“Can I help you?” the barista asked. The man leaned over the counter to slide Remus’s hoodie up off his face, “Hello, anyone in there?”

“W-what?” Remus blinked.

“Your order, sir,” the barista smiled Remus, and he tipped back his own cap so that a swath of black bangs fell along the side of his face, “I live to serve.”

“Order, right, yes, my order,” Remus said, trying not to panic. The people behind him in line began to bristle with agitation. “I had this down, I swear.”

“Hot, cold?” the barista spoke with the cadence of a person chewing gum like he was punctuating his sentences with the popping of bubbles.

“Hot, yes,” Remus clung to this small distinction like a life preserver, “Hot. Medium, do you call it ‘Tall’?”

“Grande,” the barista said.

“Not large,” Remus said.

“I know,” the barista said.

“What?” Remus asked.

“You want a medium hot coffee,” the barista said, “You want any flavor shots with that?”

“I need it to be soy,” Remus said.

“Okay,” the barista said.

“I’m not fucking with you, I really do need soy,” Remus said quickly, “I’m not one of those people who don’t put milk in things because they read something about dairy on the internet. I have food allergies.”

“It’s fine, bro,” the barista said, picking up a cup and scribbling on it in black Sharpie, “I don’t give a shit if you’re lactose intolerant – you want soy, I will get you soy.”

“You believe me, though, right?” Remus asked.

“You never said if you wanted flavor shots,” the barista said.

“Vanilla?” Remus said.

“Is that a question?” the barista said.

“No?” Remus said.

“Do you want vanilla in your drink or not?” the barista said.

“I do!” Remus said.

The barista finished scribbling and set the cup aside to tally up the total.

“Name for the order?” the barista said.

“Remus,” Remus said.

“No shit,” the barista said.

“It’s a real name,” Remus said, “My parents named me after one of the princes who founded the city of Rome.”

“I know the story,” the barista said crossly.

Remus pulled his hoodie back up and murmured, “ _What did you give me shit about it for then._ ”

“What was that?” the barista said.

“I said  _What’s-Your-Name-Then_?’” Remus snapped.

The barista smirked and pointed to his name badge, it read, ‘Sirius.’

“Like the dog star?” Remus said, squinting at the badge.

“No one ever gets that, thank you,” Sirius said, “Fan of astronomy?”

“I think I might be,” Remus smiled.

“Fantastic,” Sirius smiled, “Next!”

Sirius had just started working on the next customer when Remus popped his head over the bean grinders to say, “Did I mention that I wanted that to be a latte?”

“You have got to be fucking kidding me,” Sirius picked up the drink and poured it down the sink to redo it.

*             *             *             *             *

Remus spent the next several minutes listening to milk steamers and analyzing every stupid thing that he had just said: how everyone in the store must hate him, and how all the baristas must have taken turns spitting in his drink. But soon enough his drink arrived, and Remus either needed to bolt in embarrassment or to collect his reward.

Remus grabbed the paper cup from the counter and saw that they had followed all of his requests to the letter, if the coding on the paper cup was any indication. His drink smelled phenomenal. He brought the corner of the cup to his lips and even on the first sip it was liquid perfection. Then he turned the cup and saw that they had gone in an interesting direction with his name.

“ _Anus?_ ” Remus asked, “Seriously?”

From across the counter Remus heard a bark of laughter.


	2. Downer in a Downpour

Sometimes Remus Lupin wondered if the world had it out for him. His luck was so piss poor that at this point it couldn’t be a coincidence.

For instance, today when Remus woke up he discovered that his bike was stolen - just in time for him to miss the bus. He had mourned this loss with dignity (and a little bit of light screaming), and he had already walked two miles from home when the sky started to darken. It was at that moment he realized far too late that he had left his umbrella tied to his (now missing) bike.

Cue the rain. And boy did it ever.

The rain was cold and a little refreshing at first, but then he saw a wall of water bearing down on him and he began to run. His thin sneakers were soaked instantly in the streams that flowed down the street gutters. He pressed tight at a stitch that felt more like a stab wound.

Sopping wet and more than a little pissed off, Remus sought shelter in the closest building he could find. It was a coffee shop. His phone was already dripping wet when he pulled it from his pocket.

Desperate to salvage the one nice thing he owned Remus called out to the masses of people in the shop, "Does anyone have any rice!?"

"Why the hell would we have rice?" a familiar voice asked.

 _Oh no_ , Remus thought,  _not THAT coffee shop._

Understandably, Remus had been avoiding this coffee shop ever since the "Anus Incident." In fact, Remus avoided this entire block. For weeks he automatically avoided this area of town as a subconscious defense mechanism against crippling embarrassment. And yet there he was, and there was the dark haired barista (' _Sirius_ ', Remus reminded himself) looking at him like he was crazy.

 _Of all the coffee shops in all the burgs in all the world, I walk into his_.

“Whatever, just forget it,” Remus said, flicking droplets of water from his phone.

“Relax,” Sirius said, “Just take the battery out and let it air dry, it’ll probably be fine.”

“Thanks,” Remus glared but did as he was told. He sat near the door with his disassembled phone sitting on the table in front of him. The rain died down and several customers exited the shop. Soon it was still and peaceful … until Sirius plopped down in the seat next to Remus.

“Sup, Romulus,” Sirius beamed.

“It’s Remus,” Remus said.

“You know what? I actually remembered that,” Sirius said, “I also remembered that you have milk allergies.”

Sirius set down a small paper cup in front of Remus. 

“What is this?” Remus asked.

“It’s chocolate,” Sirius said, “Drink: you’ll feel better.”

Sirius walked away and left Remus in a haze of confusion. He sipped tentatively at his drink and it sent a flood of warmth all the way down his insides. It was a bright spot in the middle of a downpour, the hope in a hurricane, and Remus had no idea what to say.

When he reassembled his phone it chirped back to life as if by magic, but when he tried to find Sirius to thank him he was nowhere to be seen.


	3. Everything Sounds Better on Vinyl

James Potter worked at Flourish and Beats, the last standing vinyl record store in town, and he was BORED. Not one soul crawled had in the door during his afternoon shift and a tinny imitation of early era grunge rock was playing on the radio ( _for fuck’s sake, you can’t even trust the low end of the dial anymore_ ).

James considered the lack of traffic. Although he hardly wanted the store to turn into Times Square, there was something to be said for the damaging effect of obscurity:  The store was crammed in an alley with a bunch of other whimsical and anachronistic businesses, and it could only be found by those cool enough to know where it was- the average person on the street wouldn’t even see the place when they walked by. Needless to say, the geography didn't do much for attracting first-timer customers, and the owner of the establishment wasn’t paying him to guard an empty building.

James watched yet another group of despondent teenagers walk by when his patience finally snapped, “What the hell is this? Where do they think they’re going?!”

“Excuse me?” Peter Pettigrew said, looking up from his indie magazine.

“Those idiots should be spending all their pocket money in here - we should have to kick them out at closing time!” James said, pointing at the teens walking down the road, “But they walk on by! They don’t see nothing, do they?”

“No, but if you jab them with a fork, they feel it!” Peter Pettigrew said, laughing.

“That makes absolutely _no_ sense,” James crossed his arms, “I’m about ready to chase those kids down and drag them in here. It’s for their own good, they’ll thank me. You’ll see. Sirius, are you with me?”

But Sirius did not hear him. Sirius was pensive and detached in the corner of the shop looking at his favorite book, a worn copy of  _The Call of the Wild_. James had never seen Sirius so still. Sirius was never still. Sirius was a creature in motion, always scheming or joking or inadvertently breaking something. Normally that manic energy was directed at James, and now the lack of attention was actually starting to hurt his feelings. No, something was up and James Potter would figure out what.

“Hey, you!” James said. He pulled a pencil out of his afro and threw it at Sirius. The pencil hit Sirius on the forehead and then it bounced onto his book.

“The fuck?” Sirius started, rubbing his forehead, “What else you keep in that hair of yours?”

“You’ll never know,” James beamed at him, “Now what’s up?”

“Excuse me?” Sirius said.

“I’m trying to rally you to a cause but you’re too busy looking at a book you’ve already read two dozen times to listen to me,” James said, “What’s got you so distracted, Padfoot?”

“He’s nothing,” Sirius said, “I mean, it’s nothing!”

“So there’s a  _He_!” James hopped over the counter and landed on a chair beside his friend, leaning in uncomfortably close until Sirius turned pink and laughed. James pulled another pencil out of his hair and poked Sirius. “Tell. Me. Everything.”

“How many more of those do you have in there?” Sirius asked.

“Don’t change the subject,” James said, poking him again.

“Ow, ow, ow- OKAY,” Sirius said, “But really, there’s nothing to tell! It’s just this guy who showed up at work.”

“And?” James said, “Was he cute?”

“No, he’s a total dork,” Sirius said, “Taller than me but totally gangly, green eyes, shaggy hair. Looks like he got dressed in the dark, and the second time he came in sopping wet, he’s just a walking disaster.”

“Just your type then,” James asked, “What’s his name?”

“Remus,” Sirius said, rolling his eyes.

“My God, Padfoot!” James exclaimed, “You may have found the one man in this city with a stupider name than yours! You must marry this man, immediately!”

“You’re one to talk, _Elvendork_ ,” Sirius said. Peter had been happy to stay on the sidelines for most of their repartee but he couldn’t help but to burst out in laughter. Sirius grinned at his conspirator.

“It’s not stupid,” James said, “It’s unisex!”

“It doesn’t matter,” Sirius said, turning back to his book, “I’ll probably never even see him again anyway. I can’t believe I like a guy with milk allergies.”

“You remember his drink order?” Peter said, “You got it bad, bruh.”

“Cram it, Wormtail!” Sirius said.

They all laughed it off, but as James looked at Sirius he felt a twinge of unwelcome concern. James had known Sirius for years, and he had never seen Sirius become so preoccupied with any other person so quickly before today. James knew better than anyone that the home Sirius ran away from was not the kind of place that taught him to be unguarded with love. James wondered if this was a positive development, and until he knew more he could only hope for the best.


	4. Howl at the Moon

Remus Lupin had a disposition that unsettled most adults, but a kindness that shone through to those who took the trouble to know him without uninformed prejudice. That’s why he always got along so well with kids, and also with animals. If only Remus could find work in a preschool for puppies he would know no unhappiness in his entire professional life. The reality was a little less ideal.

Remus worked for Animal Control. His duties included removing wild animals from public places and collecting strays off the street. Remus would be the first to say that the uniform was hideous but he could never complain that his job lacked excitement: he had been clipped by speeding station wagons, bit by raccoons, and nearly gored by a manic deer that wandered into a closed IKEA last spring.

Many people called Animal Control, but the most frequent caller to report animals on the loose was the local sheriff’s department. A young officer by the name of Tonks was usually the one who made the call. Remus swore that the woman must have him on speed dial. Such was the case when Remus answered the office phone today.

“Mr. Lupin?” Tonks asked.

“Yes, Officer Tonks?” Remus said. He would remind her that he wasn’t the only person who worked at Animal Control, but experience had proven to her that he was indeed the only person at Animal Control who picked up the phone.  

“I’ve got tip that there’s a large black dog off its leash on the east side of town,” Officer Tonks said, “At the children’s park by the bus stop.”

“What does it look like?” Remus said, taking notes.

“I have a verbatim transcript of the incident report,” Officer Tonks said, Remus could hear her shuffling papers over the phone, “It says, ‘ _A Big Goddamn Black Dog, Holy Shit_.’”

Remus looked up from his notes, “Seriously?”

“Hand to God,” Officer Tonks said, “Will you be needing any help?”

“I’ll let you know when I get there,” Remus said, “I’m leaving now.”

“Good luck!” Officer Tonks said.

*             *             *             *             *

Remus pulled up to the park that Tonks mentioned in her call and he tried to locate the dog by sight from his car before he jumped out. He couldn’t see anything but he drove up to a cluster of kids at the park and rolled down his window, “Hey there, I’m with Animal Control. I was told there was a dog without a leash somewhere around here,” Remus said, “Have you seen anything?”

The kids all nodded and pointed ominously to the shrubbery at the bus stop across the street. A dark shape moved within the leaves. Remus thanked them and parked his vehicle. He didn’t think that it was time to call in reinforcements just yet, but he kept his phone on him just in case. He also brought his catchpole, gloves, and pulled his hair under his cap.

He approached slowly and the shrubbery growled and shook.

“Mr. Lupin!” Officer Tonks said.

Remus did not screech. Remus was much too old and much too dignified to screech in a pitch so high that it made Officer Tonks flinch.

“Jesus, Tonks,” Remus said, clutching his heart, “It’s not polite to sneak up on people.”

“I was hardly sneaking, you need to work on your situational awareness,” Tonks said, “I was in the neighborhood and I decided to check up on you. I did offer to help after all.”

“Thanks,” Remus said. His heart rate was returning to normal so he was able to address Tonks properly, “Speaking of awareness, you’ve changed your hair again.”

It seemed like every time they met Tonks was an entirely different person. When they first met two years ago she was blonde. Later she took to dying it a honey color, then brown, then a period of pitch black (which had taken ages to grow out) and now her painstakingly regrown blonde hair was a shocking bright red.

“Yeah, I watched the Little Mermaid last week and I got inspired,” Tonks said, “Do you like it?”

“You’re beautiful no matter what you look like,” Remus said.

Tonks blushed but then she pulled on her gloves and said, “Eyes on the prize, Mr. Lupin. Let’s get this puppy home!”

“Right,” Remus said. Remus picked up his catchpole and began whistling, “ _Here boy, come on out boy_.”


	5. The Importance of Leash Laws

The dog leapt out of the bushes and tackled Remus to the ground. Remus brought his heavily padded arms up to cover his face and Tonks tried pulling the animal off by the collar but the dog was too heavy and too determined to be removed so easily. It was then that Remus realized that instead of the scratching of claws and the gnashing of teeth the beast was actually trying to lick him to death.

“I think,” Remus said, lowering his arms enough to get licked across his face, “He likes me.”

Tonks laughed and relaxed enough to let the dog go. It landed heavily on top of Remus, bringing them both to the ground with a loud thud. The dog settled happily over Remus, wagging his large tail and leaving a sticky trail of drool across Remus’s uniform.

“Fluffy!” a booming voice cried out.

Remus and Tonks looked up to see a man the size of a mountain running towards them. The man had a grizzled beard and motorcycle leathers, and he was also carrying a leash with no dog attached.

“Fluffy?” Remus asked from beneath the dog the size of a pony.

The dog leapt up from Remus and into the large loving arms of the bearded man. Compared to the man the dog looked positively portable.

“You found him,” the man said, “Bless ya, bless the both of ya. He must have been so scared!”

“ _He_ was scared?” Remus said, “That thing must weigh more than three of me!”

“Nonsense, he’s just a baby,” the man said, “But where are my manners, my name is-”

“HAGRID!”  a voice from down the street screamed, “Hagrid, come back!”

A young man in a green smock and ball cap ran towards them. He was pink faced and out of breath by the time he reached them, long strands of dark hair falling loose from the cap and into his face. He ran up to the bearded man and the dog, and said, “Hagrid, you found him! Thank god. Who is this?”

“I don’t rightly know, but I’d love to thank ya,” Hagrid said, “I’m Hagrid, and you are?”

“Officer Tonks, and this is Mr. Lupin from Animal Control,” Tonks said, shaking hands with Hagrid and the man in the smock and cap.

“Hello Hagrid,” Remus said, “Hi Sirius.”

Sirius did a double take at Remus and his eyes widened with comprehension.

“Oh, you two already know each other,” Hagrid said, turning to Sirius, “I thought I already met both of your friends.”

“I have more than two friends, Hagrid,” Sirius said, “I have you, don’t I?”

Tonks helped Remus up from the ground and asked, “You all right there, Mr. Lupin?”

“No permanent damage, I think,” Remus said. He turned to see Sirius mussing the mane of the large black dog, smiling and unaware of everyone else in attendance. Hagrid looked fondly down on Sirius as a father would a son, and Remus wondered if perhaps they were related somehow (perhaps the height skipped a generation). Remus was pulled out of his reverie by a pair of young men arriving on long boards.

“Hey Sirius! You found Fluffy, Brilliant!” the tall black man said, high-fiving Sirius. He had an impressive afro, thick rimmed circular glasses, and shoes that probably cost more than Remus spent on food in a month.

“Actually James, you can thank Remus, here,” Sirius said, pointing to Remus with his limp catchpoll and his drool stained Animal Control uniform.

“The infamous Remus,” James grinned, reaching forward for a handshake, “Pleased to make your acquaintance.”

“Infamous?” Remus asked. He took off his thick knobbly gloves and shook James’s hand.

“And this noble fellow is Peter,” James said, pulling up his long board riding companion. Peter was short and brunet haired. His eyes seemed more than a little bloodshot and he wore a t-shirt that said, ‘FREE THE NARGLES.’

“Ah yes, hello,” Remus said, shaking Peter’s hand. Peter smiled agreeably. Remus noticed that Peter was missing a finger but it seemed rude to ask why.

“But Remus, dear boy,” James said, “I don’t believe you’ve introduced us to your friend! Hello Officer- I do love what you’ve done with your hair.”

“Ignore him,” Sirius said, “He has a thing for redheads.”

“Not all redheads!” James said, “Just the one, and she’s in a league of her own. And maybe, one day, I’ll even get her to speak to me.”

“Good luck with that mate,” Peter said, laughing.

Tonks coughed and extended her hand to shake, “My name is Officer Tonks, pleasure to meet you. I assume you are friends of Mr. Hagrid here.”

“Everyone who knows Hagrid is a friend of Hagrid,” James said. Hagrid rolled his eyes but didn’t argue. James continued, “I’m sorry about Fluffy but it is our fault, really. We were taking the dog for a walk and he got wrapped around a pole; never intended to let go of him while we untied his leash but he’s even stronger than he looks. Off he went and off we went after him, you can guess the rest.”

“No harm, no foul,” Tonks said. She turned to Hagrid when she spoke next, “Just makes sure to be careful with his leash next time. The city has leash laws for a reason.”

“Of course,” Hagrid said, clipping the leash to Fluffy’s collar as he spoke, “Thanks to the both of ya for finding him.”

Tonks and Remus nodded. Remus in particular felt no need to artificially inflate the size of his smile, and wondered when was the last time that anyone had ever genuinely thanked him for doing his job.

Tonks’s radio chirped and she unclipped it from her belt to respond. She said her goodbyes and went into her police car to address some issue in the city that required the help of local law enforcement.

James broke the silence and said, “Well Hagrid, I think Peter and I should help you take Fluffy back home, don’t you? Poor boy has had enough excitement for one day!”

“What about Sirius?” Hagrid said.

“Don’t you worry about Sirius,” James said, “I think Peter and I can handle Fluffy, right Sirius?”

“Uh, right,” Sirius said, “Go on without me guys, I’ll catch you later.”

“If you insist,” Hagrid said, waving as James and Peter ushered him away, “Nice meetin ya, Mr. Lupin!”

Remus and Sirius said goodbye and then by no small design the pair of them were alone.


	6. Even Cooler than Steve Irwin

Now they were alone.

Not that they were really alone: situated as they were near a crowded playground with families coming and going, and cars driving up and down the avenue. But a few short minutes ago Remus had Tonks for company, and then Sirius arrived with a parade of friends and acquaintances. Now it was just the two of them remaining, and Remus realized that despite this being the third time that they had met- the pair of them had never really had an actual conversation together.  

“So, those were your friends, then?” Remus asked.

“Yeah, James and Peter,” Sirius said, smiling, “Known them since grade school, we’re thick as thieves.”

“Must be nice,” Remus said.

“Huh?” Sirius asked.

“I said they seem nice,” Remus said.

“Yeah, James is a little bit of a show-off but he’s the best man I know. And Peter just,” Sirius floundered for a moment, as if trying to find appropriate words, “He keeps everyone together. I can’t really imagine our friendship without him, he’s always been there.”

“Is Hagrid your dad?” Remus asked.

“What?” Sirius said.

“I didn’t mean anything by it,” Remus said, “You just seemed rather close.”

“No, Hagrid’s just an old friend, and a very good friend,” Sirius said, “I wouldn’t mind if he was my dad, to be honest. He probably would have been more up for the task than my real old man.”

“I’m sorry,” Remus said.

“Think nothing of it, please,” Sirius said. The silence that followed was unacceptable to his own ears so he switched subjects, “So, was that your girlfriend?”

“Officer Tonks?” Remus said, “God no.”

“I didn’t mean anything by it,” Sirius said, smirking, “She’s very pretty.”

“It’s not that I don’t, it’s not that she,” Remus said, wishing that there was a way to stop blushing. He took a deep breath and started over, “I think sometimes that she might be interested, but I pretend that I don’t see it.”

Remus hung his head in silence. The entire subject was so hopeless that every word felt like a defeat. Sirius waited for Remus to continue but when he didn’t, Sirius said, “If you love her you should tell her.”

“I admire her, but that’s not the same thing as love,” Remus said, “I think she’s smart and brave and talented, but I would be lying to her if I told her I felt the same way that she did. I can’t do that her. She’s my friend.”

Sirius didn’t respond. Remus was waiting for him to speak but when he looked up at Sirius he found that Sirius was merely studying him intently, as if seeing him for the first time.

“What is it?” Remus said.

“Nothing,” Sirius said, “You’re just a rather extraordinary person is all.”

Remus wished once again that he could figure out a way to put a stop to all this blushing. He would never learn to play things cool when his body kept betraying him. And then there was the matter of his polyester uniform, and the drool, and his knobby gloves. How could anyone think he was extraordinary? Why would anyone look twice?

“Do you want to get out of here?” Sirius asked.

“I’ll drive,” Remus said, holding up his keys to the large Animal Control van parked behind them.

*             *             *             *             *

“I’m so embarrassed,” Remus said, chucking his extra gear into storage containers in the rear of the van, “I have just about the lamest job in the world.”

“Are you kidding? This is awesome,” Sirius said, “You get to go around town chasing and scuffling with animals- you’re practically Steve Irwin!”

“I’m not sure about that,” Remus said, though his embarrassment was cracked by a glimmer of a smile fighting its way across his face. They piled in the front seat and buckled up for safety. Sirius was in the passenger seat and he looked around them with great interest.

“And you get a set of WHEELS,” Sirius said, gesturing dramatically to the car that enveloped them.

“It’s hardly the Batmobile, but she gets the job done,” Remus said, turning the keys in the ignition and bringing the van rumbling into life. For the look of excitement on Sirius’s face you would have thought that it  _was_  the Batmobile, and he kept trying to play with the transponder radio and Remus had to slap his hands away, “That’s for work, Sirius! Behave!”

“I can’t behave, I’m incorrigible,” Sirius said, stealing Remus’s hat and switching it with his own green ball cap. Remus would normally put up a much bigger fight with someone so blatantly disregarding his personal space but Sirius looked so cute in the hideous Animal Control cap that he found himself struggling to remember why he should be mad.

Sirius turned on the van radio and grimaced at the NPR talk show, “ _Fresh_ _Air_? Really? Are you secretly a 35 year old woman?”

Sirius changed the radio to a station that featured the sound of several electric guitars in an epic battle to see who could be louder, so naturally Sirius turned it up to full volume. Remus yelled over the riffing, “PUT IT BACK!”

“WHO HAS THE ANIMAL CONTROL HAT, REMUS? I OWN THIS RADIO NOW,” Sirius said, pointing at the stolen hat on his head.

“THAT’S NOT HOW THAT WORKS,” Remus said.

They were in a minor slap-fight over the radio when Remus stopped at a red light and a call came in over the radio. Remus turned the music off and listened to what the radio on his center console told him.

“Lupin, what happened to that dog on Central and 4th? Over,” the voice on the radio said.

“False alarm, claimed by owner. Over,” Remus said, clicking on his turn to speak and then releasing for the response.

“Copy, over and out,” the voice said.

“Over and out,” Remus said, and he put the mic back in the holder in his center console. Sirius was looking at him transfixed. Remus raised his eyebrows, “What?”

“You know how to talk over the radio,” Sirius said, “You’re  _even cooler_  than Steve Irwin.”

“Shut the fuck up,” Remus said, biting his lip to keep from smiling like an idiot.


	7. She is my Evangeline

“I don’t understand why we had to leave without him,” Hagrid said.

Hagrid’s day had started with a quiet but happy visit from James Potter, Peter Pettigrew, and Sirius Black. Hagrid loved the boys, and had known them since they were children tromping through his garden on their way to school. Their apologies for squishing his squashes had evolved into a friendship spanning years, including a weekly get-together for tea and cakes, and the occasional walk about town with Fluffy (the world’s largest puppy).

Today’s visit was complicated by Fluffy escaping his leash and ended with a police officer helping them find the silly dog. However, Hagrid was displeased with the incident. He couldn’t understand why James had been so determined to leave Sirius behind at the park when Sirius had been James’s best friend for so many years.

“Hagrid, Hagrid, Hagrid,” James said, “You know how you feel about that French woman down town?”

“She’s not some woman, she’s a lady. Her name’s Maxine. Be nice to her,” Hagrid said.

“Right, sorry Hagrid,” James said, “You know how you feel about Madam Maxine?”

“Yeah,” Hagrid said, “What about her?”

“Remus might just be Sirius’s Madam Maxine,” Peter said, pulling his nose out of his magazine long enough to actually contribute to the conversation.

“Mr. Lupin?” Hagrid said, “But they barely know each other.”

“Which is why it was so important for them to have a chance to talk … without us,” James said. James paused for a moment, feeling a little sad thinking about it himself. But he swallowed his words and continued, “You know how it is, Hagrid, when Madam Maxine is in the room you don’t have eyes for anyone but her!”

“I’m sure if they get along we’ll all be seeing a lot more of Mr. Lupin,” Peter said.

“That’s the spirit!” James said, clapping in celebration, “We could add another member to our little gang!”

“You tell Sirius from me that any friend of his would be welcome at my house,” Hagrid said. They were approaching his doorstep now. Fluffy was pulling on his leash to get inside the door where his favorite napping chair was waiting. Hagrid turned to James and Peter, “Time for one last cuppa?”

“That sounds great, Hagrid. Thank you,” James said.

Hagrid opened the door, and James and Peter followed him inside.


	8. crushcrushcrush

“I should probably drop off the van,” Remus said, “Do you want me to drop you off at your place?”

“Mr. and Mrs. Potter probably aren’t home yet, they both work,” Sirius said. He looked out the window, his tone aiming for casual, “Could you circle back to Hagrid’s?”

“Of course,” Remus said, turning on his turn signal, “Lead the way.”

They were more reserved now. Sirius gave up his antics with the radio and he set the Animal Control hat on his lap. Remus wanted to ask if something was wrong but he was kind of enjoying seeing all that hair without a baseball cap. It was longer than Remus thought- part of his loose ponytail must get hidden beneath the collar. And it was thick and black and carelessly tangled. It was … distracting.

“My parents aren’t dead, just so you know,” Sirius said.

“Excuse me?” Remus said.

“My parents,” Sirius said, “I’m not an orphan. I had a bad situation at home so James asked his parents if I could live with them and they agreed. I’ve lived with the Potters ever since.”

Remus wondered what could have been so bad that it drove Sirius from his home, but Sirius didn’t offer any other details and Remus didn’t want to open any fresh wounds. Finally he settled on saying, “It sounds like the Potters are damn fine people.”  

Sirius smiled and they carried on for the rest of the ride in silence.

*             *             *             *             *

It seemed like no time at all had passed when they arrived in front of the quaint little house with the colorful thriving garden. Remus didn’t want to be that guy, the clingy one who didn’t know when to let go, but it tugged at his heartstrings to see Sirius go so soon. To Remus the time that they spent together was like looking out a window into a world where cool, interesting people actually talked to him.

Sirius unbuckled and said, “Remus?”

“Yeah?” Remus asked.

“When you said that you didn’t feel the same way about Officer Tonks as she felt about you,” Sirius said.

“Yeah?” Remus asked.

“Is there another girl who _does_ make you feel that way?” Sirius said.

“There are no other girls,” Remus said, “Not for me.”

“Huh,” Sirius said, nodding, “Okay.”

Remus coughed and asked, “Are there… any girls out there for you?”

“There was someone I liked,” Sirius said.

Of course there was someone else, there was always someone. Remus looked down and swallowed another hopeless dream to whither and rot with the rest. He couldn’t think about it now, not when the one person who had made him hopeful in years was still in the car. Not when that person had no idea how he made Remus feel.

“And he’s wearing my hat,” Sirius said.

Remus felt his cheeks burn and he looked up at the green cap he was wearing. The letters _S.B._ were written under the brim in black marker. Remus took the hat off slowly and turned to face Sirius. His eyes were stinging and a lump solidified in his throat. He could barely breathe let alone talk.

“What’s wrong?” Sirius asked.

“I just don’t understand it,” Remus said, choking, gasping, “Why would you like me?”

“How can you say that?” Sirius said, pulling in close and wrapping his hand around Remus’s neck. Remus leaned into him, shaking, but so desperate to be closer.

“You don’t even know me,” Remus said, “I’m a mess, I’m broken!”

“That’s not what I see, Remus,” Sirius said, “You’re beautiful.”

“How can you say that?” Remus asked. But Sirius didn’t argue with him on this point, because Sirius pulled Remus in closer and he was kissing him: warm lips and salty tears, eyes pressed tight against a moment that he never wanted to end. When Sirius pulled back Remus looked petrified.

“Do you believe me now?” Sirius asked.

“I can’t believe that just happened,” Remus said, “But I really want to.”

Sirius laughed and grabbed Remus’s hand. He pulled out a Sharpie and wrote out a string of numbers across his palm. Sirius sniffed and said, “You make sure you call me, okay? Or I’ll kick your ass!”

Remus cradled his hand like it has just been blessed, and he even though his voice quivered he managed to say, “Okay.”  

“Good,” Sirius said. He pecked Remus on the cheek and hopped out of the van. He ran all the way to the front doorstep and turned back around to grin mischievously back at Remus. Remus waved back meekly, still in shock.

Remus put the car back in gear and he stared at the number on his palm, smiling to himself and whispering,  _I’m in trouble_.


	9. Canary Devoured

James and Peter were drinking tea and eating rock cakes in Hagrid’s front parlor while they waited on Sirius to return. The boys knew that Hagrid would be horrified if he found out that James was sneaking rock cakes to Fluffy, but James was too fascinated by the dog’s insatiable appetite to stop. Hagrid was wearing his bright floral smock and attending to a second pot of tea for the group when he turned to find that the serving dish was empty.

“My goodness boys, I don’t know where you put them all!” Hagrid laughed, and then set about to refilling the plate.

Peter shot daggers with his eyes at James, but James just made a gentle ‘ _shhh_ ’ gesture. Then James tossed the last rock cake in an impressive upward arc across the room and into the waiting mouth of Fluffy – who chewed happily for a moment before downing it in one sticky swallow.

Sirius came in without knocking and entered the room with a big smile spread across his face. Sirius draped himself over the sofa across from James and Peter, and tipped down his cap for them to see: his normal green ball cap that he wore for work was replaced with a beige and red hat that said ANIMAL CONTROL across the front.

“You _didn’t_ ,” James said.

Sirius shook his head no but he was unable to stop himself from smiling.

“You- _Did-NOT_!” James said louder, throwing sugar cubes at Sirius.

“What are you on about?” Hagrid asked, putting down his egg whisk and looking in his parlor, “Sirius, when did you get back?”

“Just a second ago, Hagrid, my apologies for not knocking,” Sirius said.

“Nonsense, pleasure to have you back so soon,” Hagrid waved his whisk dismissively, “Especially after James here tried so hard to get rid of you back at the park.”

“James was only giving me a little bit of time alone with my new friend,” Sirius said, “We’re still good, right James?”

“Only if you tell us everything,” James said.

“Nothing to tell: we drove around town for a bit, listened to some tunes, and circled back around here,” Sirius said, shrugging.

“That, is not, everything,” James said, “You don’t get a smirk like that from listening to the radio.”

“Maybe it has something to do with a certain gentleman I know who may no longer be single?” Sirius said.

“ _You what!?_ ” Peter said, nearly ripping his magazine in half.

“Fuck’s sake, Padfoot, you don’t waste any time,” James said, “When do we get to meet the man, properly?”

“Mind your manners,” Hagrid slapped James with a rolled up newspaper usually reserved for disciplining Fluffy. He then turned and offered Sirius a fresh cup of tea, “But I would love to have your new friend over for tea any time, Sirius.”

“Thank you, Hagrid,” Sirius said, blowing over his tea, “I shall extend the invitation.”

A chirp from within his pocket called Sirius’s attention and he looked down at his phone:

**(New Number): Hey, I know it looks better on you but I actually need that hat back …**

_Maybe even sooner than you think_ , Sirius thought.


	10. And then there's THIS asshole

Remus should have returned the van. Remus had every intention of returning the van. Remus WOULD return the van … but not yet. One unhappy but necessary errand stood between him and home, and it would be much easier to drive than to walk (now that he was no longer burdened with the possession of a bike). Still, Remus needed to be quick because they wouldn’t let him keep driving the van if he kept it off the lot past his shift.

Remus pulled into a parking spot at the clinic downtown, and took a deep breath for strength. The place was filled with all sorts of people, and they all had their own problems: injuries, allergies, and infections. Remus was just here for a refill. Remus waited, as patiently as he could, but the service in this clinic was always slow, and there were several visibly confused elderly people in line. Finally it was his turn, but when Remus saw the person at the front desk his blood ran cold.

The man had a pallid complexion, emphasized by raven black hair and an ever-present grimace. The man looked up from his keypad to sneer at Remus.

"Back again, are we?" Snape asked, "What is it this time?"

"Just the refill," Remus said.

"You ran out six weeks ago, as we both know,” Snape said, “Don't waste my time with a prescription I cannot in the name of law refill.”

"I know, I know. I got it handled. I got the new prescription from my doctor," Remus said, "I've got it right here!"

Remus fumbled in his pockets for the doctors note. He had only realized that his prescription expired AFTER he already ran out of the medicine from the last refill. And getting an appointment with a specialist and finding time in his schedule between shifts was a nightmare, and that was after considering the fact that he had fought so hard to get the initial consultation with this doctor in the first place. And then even with insurance the copays weren’t cheap (neither were the drugs, but what can you do). Remus found the paper and set it on the counter in front of him.

Snape sneered at the paper, and picked it up by grabbing the smallest part of the corner that he could (Remus suspected that if Snape had tongs he would have used them). Remus bit his tongue and tried to be patient, but he was unable to keep from looking up at the clock on the wall with the pressing worry that the van was expected back in 15 minutes.

"I'll call your insurance carrier," Snape said.

"My information is on file!" Remus said.

"Excuse me," Snape said, "Are you in some kind of a hurry?"

"Yes!" Remus snapped. Remus looked at the patiently defiant smirk on Snape's face and he made one last appeal, "I need to get back to work, please."

"I can't have this filled in under an hour," Snape drawled, "A little forethought would have saved you a lot of pain, someone like you should know that."

Remus saw red, and his heart was filled with the desire to tear the place apart. He needed that refill. He needed it. He didn't it today, he needed it weeks ago. And Snape didn't have to say that, he didn't have to go there. What did Snape know about it, anyway? What had he heard?

His anger deflated like a balloon and all that was left was resignation and disappointment. Even though he had practically moved mountains to get his prescription filled today it still wasn't going to happen. He needed it. He needed it and he wouldn't get it.

"I'll be back tomorrow," Remus said.     

"Yes," Snape said, "I suspect you will."

Snape shoved the prescription into a drawer without looking at it and called the next person in line.


	11. Good Night Sweet Prince

The Potters gave Sirius his own room as soon as they offered to let him live in their home. They wanted for Sirius to feel welcome: they encouraged Sirius to decorate his new room as he saw fit and they always made sure to knock before entering. It was his space entirely and they respected his boundaries.

That lasted about a month.

As it turned out Sirius was much more accustomed to crashing through boundaries than building them up. Sirius would start the night in his own bed, but he would always find his way into James’s bedroom, talking and questioning and prodding James until it was so late that James told Sirius to just go to sleep in the room with him. Finally, Mr. and Mrs. Potter brought the second bed into James’s room and there it stayed.

James and Sirius shared all of their possessions in a give-and-take system. Clothing was spread throughout the room in such a haphazard fashion that neither boy was quite sure who owned what anymore. Their laundry was delivered in the same basket, dumped into the same dresser, and the boys would often pull over a shirt or slip on trousers that were obviously intended for the other.

It was a happy arrangement and neither would have it any other way.

So late that night, very late that night, Sirius lay in his bed with the covers pulled over his head to hide the light from his cell phone. Sirius checked for ‘Remus Lupin’ on Facebook: Nothing. 

 _Who the hell doesn’t have a Facebook account?_  Sirius thought. _Murderers, that’s who. People in Witness Protection or aliens sent from Outer Space._

What about Twitter? Zilch. Instagram? Nuh-Uh. LinkedIn?  Nope.  _The Fuck?_

Sirius would get to the bottom of this, immediately. He opened up Remus’s message from earlier that day and impatiently tapped out a reply.

*             *             *             *             *

Remus lived alone.

Once upon a time Remus shared his room and his rent with an attractive grad student named Gilderoy Lockhart. Sometimes Remus missed Lockhart. Gilderoy decorated the walls with dozens of portraits of himself sporting fancy outfits and big toothy grins, and now the empty wall space made the apartment seem empty and colorless. Gilderoy used to tell the most unbelievable stories (Remus often suspected that Gilderoy had made them all up), but then Gilderoy had wandered away last year in a quest to 'find himself,' and Remus hadn’t heard back from him since.

That night Remus spread out in bed and considered going to sleep, but he stayed up a little bit longer to see if Sirius texted him back.

*             *             *             *             *

**SB: you don’t have a facebook**

**RL:** You’re right. I don’t.

**SB: who the fuck doesn’t have a facebook?!**

**RL:** Me. I doesn’t.

**SB: why not?**

**RL:** I just don’t see the point in social media.

**SB: OF COURSE THERE’S NOT A POINT, IT EXISTS TO HELP PEOPLE WASTE TIME ON THEIR PHONES.**

**RL:** Okay?

**SB: AND TO HELP PEOPLE STALK THEIR BOYFRIENDS.**

**RL:** Is that what this is about?

 **RL:** Sirius?

 **RL:** Did you fall asleep?

 **RL:** Am I your boyfriend?

**SB: ignore that**

**SB: pretend i didn’t say anything this entire conversation is mortifying**

**RL:** Do you Want me to get a facebook?

**SB: you don’t have to**

**SB: it’s stupid, forget i said anything**

**SB: Yes.**

**RL:** Okay.

 **SB: YOU WILL??? <3**  ** <3**

 **RL:** Anything to make my internet stalker boyfriend happy. <3 <3

**SB: i hope you die in a fire**


	12. For Shame You Instagram Whore

The next morning Sirius woke up very early for work, long before the sun came up. No one was more aware of this than James Potter, who listened to several cycles of Sirius's alarm clock as it was reset to sleep mode before he finally lost patience and threw a shoe at Sirius to force him out of bed.

"Ow!" Sirius said, "Rude much?"

"Get up, asshole," James said, "You're the one with the morning shift, not me."

James squashed his pillow over his head and so he was not privy to the obscene gesture Sirius threw his way in response.

And so Sirius got out of bed and began his usual morning scrambling: finding black clothes, matching shoes, and his house keys from the mismatched piles of his belongings that were scattered through out the room. Sirius never bothered with breakfast when his job was nothing but coffee, and so once he finished brushing his teeth and he ran his fingers through his hair a couple times to pull it back in shape he was out the door in time for the bus.

The early morning bus was filled with quiet, morose passengers, but Sirius was in much better spirits as he had hopes for a novel way of passing the time. He pulled up Facebook and typed in, "Remus Lupin":  **Match**

Sirius spent the bus ride looking at the recently constructed profile and when he reached his stop he mentally cataloged his lessons learned. _So, what do we know about Remus Lupin?_

  * He takes terrible profile photos that look like driver’s license photos.
  * His birthday is March 10th (and he was a year YOUNGER than Sirius, so he’s practically a baby).
  * He works at Animal Control.
  * He has no relatives on Facebook.
  * He went to a different high school than Sirius but it was in the same county. 
  * His professed music interests are eclectic, even if they a little dated.
  * And ... he reads terrible science fiction novels.



There was only one post on by Remus that wasn't an update to his settings. It was a status update, only two words.

**"Hello Sirius"**

*             *             *             *             *

In the course of his shift Sirius realized that the shirt he chose that morning was one of James's black long sleeve t-shirts. Sirius realized this because the sleeves draped far past his wrists, and he had to roll up his sleeves several times to keep from drenching them with steamed milk (Sirius made a mental note to get shorter friends). When he saw his reflection in the stainless steel of the espresso machine he saw that his eyes were smudged from a botched attempt to rub off the eyeliner from the night before, but he just shrugged it off and decided that this was his new aesthetic.

The morning shift was always busy because coffee-drinkers never sleep, and a shop like this takes in all kinds: retired couples, business professionals, college kids, and soccer moms. Everyone has a different day planned and a different story to tell – but as soon as you run out of blueberry scones everybody loses their goddamned minds.

The sun was up now. Everyone behind the counter was in the groove and the line was moving quickly. Sirius looked up at the next customer and his recurring daydream stood before him.

“Hello Sirius,” Remus Lupin said.

Sirius picked up a cup and a marker so that he could write down Remus’s order, but the electrical impulses sent down his arm by his brain to make his fingers work went haywire and with an unpredictable spasm he sent the Sharpie flying into the distance behind him. Someone in the back yelped in surprise. Sirius didn’t notice.

“Your birthday is March 10th,” Sirius said.

“I know,” Remus said. He tried not to say anything snarky as he watched Sirius fumble with another marker, but it was so difficult, “Is something wrong?”

“Don’t worry about it,” Sirius got the cap off the marker and resumed his position to write down the order, “Did you get my friend request?”

“I don’t know how that works,” Remus said, pulling out his phone, “Is it under settings?”

“Don’t worry about it now,” Sirius said, reaching over the counter and pressing his hand over Remus’s to lower the phone away. Remus met his gaze, “I’ll be on break in 15, wait here and I’ll show you how to use it.”

“You sure you’re okay?” Remus said, eyebrows raised.

“Medium vanilla latte with soy milk?” Sirius asked.

“Uh, yeah,” Remus said. They did the dance of cash and receipt, and Sirius gave Remus his change. Remus poured the assortment of coins he received directly into the TIPS jar.

“I’ll see you in a bit,” Sirius winked.

*             *             *             *             *

Remus noted with pleasant surprise that his cup had his name spelled properly. Oftentimes no one has ever heard of his name before, and over the years he had to deal with all sorts of inventive interpretations. This time, however, he was most surprised that ‘ _Anus_ ’ hadn’t made a second appearance. Sirius must be really off his game this morning.

Remus watched Sirius work for several minutes: smiling politely for little old grandmas and rolling his eyes at teenage girls taking photos of their cups with their phones. He loved watching Sirius move, and Remus imagined that he might know Sirius for years and never grow tired of it.

Then Sirius took off his hat and put away his smock, and he joined Remus at a table near the back of the shop.

“Hello there,” Sirius said, “This seat taken?”

“Help yourself,” Remus said. They sat there, awkward but smiling anyway, adjusting into seats facing each other and testing out where they fit into each other’s space.

“So … you managed to find my account all right? On Facebook, I mean?” Remus asked.

“Yeah, thanks for that,” Sirius said, “It was interesting, to learn a little bit more about you.”

“Like my birthday?” Remus asked.

Sirius blushed, “Uh, yeah. Like that.”

“Did you like what you saw?” Remus asked.

“So far,” Sirius said, “Did you see my profile?”

Remus broke into a huge smile, “Oh yes, you have the most _interesting_ photos.”

Sirius blushed even more. He pulled out his phone to show Remus how to accept a friend request and how to install the messenger application. Remus looked on attentively, wanting to understand all the steps from A to Zed.

“And we HAVE to fix your profile photo,” Sirius said.

“What’s wrong with my profile photo,” Remus asked.

“Nothing, if you’re on parole,” Sirius said, “Would it kill you to smile?”

“Why risk it?” Remus said, but he was grinning already. Normally Remus had very good control over his emotional reserve, but Sirius completely took him off his guard before he even knew what was happening.

“Remus Lupin, is that you?” a familiar voice said from just over Remus’s shoulder.

“Shit Fuck Mother-fucking Tits!” Remus said, jumping, “The fuck are you doing here, Snape?”

“It’s a free country, I can be anywhere I wish,” Snape said, “But in this instance I think that it is quite obvious that I came here to buy coffee. If only they were adequately staffed. So hard to find good help these days. Oh, hello Black.”

“Sup Snivellus,” Sirius said, his lip curled with disgust. Snape narrowed his eyes.

“Making new friends, Remus?” Snape sneered at Sirius, “Looks like your sort.”

“Why don’t you go play with your chemistry set?” Sirius said. The force of his grip around his smock was strong enough to brutally kill a small mammal. Snape backed away a half step.

“What do you want, Snape?” Remus shook his head in warning to Sirius not do something happen that might cost him his job.

“Well, Remus,” Snape smoothed out his shirt, “I just so happened to come over here to inform you that your prescription is ready. I know that you were very anxious to get your refill so I wanted to put your mind at ease. I’ll leave now, I’m sure you both have plenty to talk about.”

Snape turned on his heel and walked straight out of the shop without even ordering anything. Remus had to physically restrain Sirius to keep him from throwing something after him.

“How do you know Snape?” Remus asked.

“Went to school together,” Sirius fumed, “Total prick. Complete and utter asshole.”

“Somehow that doesn’t surprise me,” Remus said.

“I assume he works at a pharmacy now? What the fuck was he going on about?” Sirius asked.

“Forget him, he doesn’t matter,” Remus said looking over his shoulder to make sure that he was really gone, “Look, I need to talk to you about something. I can’t get into it now. Can you meet me after work?”

“Can I?” Sirius said, leaning in over the table.

Remus bowed his head, “Sirius, I know you said you liked finding out more about me, but there are some things that you won’t like.”

“Don’t worry so much, Remus,” Sirius said, “You won’t scare me away.”

Remus nodded but still couldn’t meet Sirius’s eyes. Sirius got up and said, “I’ve got to be getting back. I get off at 3, all right?”

“All right,” Remus smiled.


	13. Lighthouses and Jackasses

There were many things that Remus Lupin would rather do than face Severus Snape again: pour lemon juice directly on his retinas, for example, or step on a Lego. But, as Remus well knew, pride is a luxury, so he set his aside.

Remus walked all the way to the pharmacy. The distance gave him time to clear his head. He saw that Snape was the one behind the counter when he walked in, but he got in line anyway. Remus waited in line until it was his turn, and then he set his face into a neutral mask that he often used when he hoped to escape notice.

“Ah yes, Mr. Lupin,” Severus Snape said, he wore a sickly smile that you could hear in his voice, “I do believe that I have something for you.”

Snape returned with a discrete paper bag with a set of typed instructions stapled to the outside; he dropped them flippantly on the counter as though the contents were no more important than a fast food wrapper. Remus said nothing. He filled out his paperwork. He presented his identification. He was wordless, compliant, and patient.

“Thank you,” Remus said.

Before Remus could retreat back to the outside world Snape said, “A warning, if you’ll hear it?”

Remus said nothing but he stayed where he was standing, ready to hear the message before he dismissed it. He waited.

“You are a new friend to Mr. Black?” Snape asked.

 _Friend_ , Remus thought, how inadequate a word to describe the feelings that brewed and battled inside him. What word could capture the whole of it? What word would Snape understand? Passion, Obsession, Madness? But Remus felt friendship, too: kindness and allegiance, brotherhood. The word would do for this conversation. Friend. Yes.

“Yes,” Remus said.

“You would be smart to avoid him and his crew,” Snape said, “They’re careless people, they crush people like you for sport.”

“That hasn’t been my experience,” Remus said. His jaw tightened. He lowered his gaze. He didn’t want trouble. He didn’t want a lecture. But he didn’t want to stand here while his friends were defamed.

“I think I know them better than you,” Snape said, a hint of condescension rising in his tone, “I’ve watched them for years, the way they strut around, brutes without brains or conscience.”

“That’s not true,” Remus said. Bile rose in his throat but he stood his ground, “You don’t know anything.”

“What do you know about it?” Snape said, “Look at your track record, Black wouldn’t be the worst person you’ve trusted.”

If Snape was itching for a fight, Remus was tempted to give it to him. He indulged a brief fantasy where he grabbed Snape by the hair and slammed his greasy face into the desk. However, right at that moment someone else behind the counter walked up to Snape and tapped on his shoulder.

It was Lily Evans. She was red hair and pale skin and eyes so green that emeralds seemed dim in comparison. Remus smiled when he saw her signature fire of righteous indignation. She was the lighthouse in turbulent seas. A redhead with a bone to pick.

"Severus, I'm surprised at you!" Lily Evans said, "Talking to Remus like that!"

"I said nothing out of turn," Snape's stared at Lily with an intensity usually reserved for bomb diffusion or liquid eyeliner application. In comparison to Lily, Remus's continuing presence was an irrelevant detail, like a black fly in your Chardonnay ( _how ironic_ ).

"Nothing out of turn? Why don't you just try being nice to someone for a change?" Lily said.

"I'm nice to people who deserve it," Snape narrowed his eyes at her.

"You're nice to people you already like, and that's not enough," Lily crossed her arms.

"Not enough?" Snape spat, "I've endured countless indignities! I've been rebuked and forsaken and shamed! That's not enough for you? What kind of self-flagellation do you want from me!?"

 "This isn't about _YOU_!" Lily said, "When you push everyone around you away you're blind to the pain you cause. And you'll never see all the reasons you should change your mind!"

"Reasons?" Snape spat, "What reasons! The world hasn’t changed, why should I?”

“That’s it, then? You’d rather curse the world than try to save it? I’ll leave you to it,” Lily said, “Let’s go, Remus.”

Remus couldn’t help but smile at Snape as Lily grabbed Remus by the hand and dragged him out of the store. Looking back, though, Remus wondered if the look on Snape’s face was bitterness, or regret.


	14. The Secret Keeper

Lily waited until she got all the way out of the store and into the parking lot before she said anything else. The fresh air and the piercing sunshine of the outside world seemed to release something in her, and so when she finally let go Remus’s hand she stopped in her tracks and screamed out, "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKKKK!!!!!!"

People were staring. Little old ladies walked past them, muttering to each other as they decided to ignore the incident rather than risk getting drawn into it. Remus turned to comfort Lily and he saw that she was crying.

"My God, Lily," Remus said, "What's wrong?"

"It's stupid, I've been so stupid," Lily sniffed and she dabbed at her eyes with her sleeves.

"You aren't stupid," Remus said.

"Books! And cleverness!" Lily laughed, "But the real important things? I haven't got it figured out at all. I thought I could break through to him, I've tried for so many years."

"Ugh, he's such an asshole, why would you bother?" Remus said.

"He’s my friend, and you don't give up on friends," Lily said.

"No, no you don't," Remus said.

Lily sniffed once more, and then she put her hands on her hips, a decision made, "Let's get out of here. I can't go back in there, not right now."

"Yeah," Remus said, "Let's go."

*             *             *             *             *

Lily drove in circles around town, windows down and music up, singing along to her favorite songs. She had a playlist of Broadway favorites at the ready. They listened to ‘Defying Gravity’ six times in a row, and Lily sang along word for word. Lily had a lovely singing voice, but thankfully she wasn’t singing as loud as the voice blasting from her car speakers. Remus was unfamiliar with the song at first but he was afraid that he would never get it out of his head after this.

Finally they stopped at a park, the same park where Remus met Fluffy the day before. Lily turned off the car and asked Remus if he’d like to play on the swings. Remus agreed. They swung on the swings side by side and watched the children play: laughter and fighting, new games invented being on the spot, and parents hovering just out of view. Remus was struck by the childishness of the two of them on the swing set, and yet they seemed a million years apart from the children playing in front of them. They were children, too, not so long ago, but those days were gone now.

“So what’s the deal with you and Sirius?” Lily asked.

“I barely know him,” Remus said.

“But you’d like to know him better, huh?” Lily grinned. Remus blushed but said nothing. Lily continued, emboldened, “Oh, you don’t just _like_ him, you  _really_ like him. When are you going to see him again?”

“I’m supposed to meet him after he gets off work at 3,” Remus said.

“Any plans?” Lily asked.

“Sort of,” Remus sighed, “I’m gonna tell him. About …. You know.”

“Is it that serious?” Lily asked.

“Doesn’t matter,” Remus grumbled, “Snape forced my hand.”

“Snape did what?!” Lily said, digging in her heels and stopping mid-swing.

“He didn’t say anything _directly_ ,” Remus said, “But he implied so goddamn much that now I have to set the record straight, and … hope for the best, I guess.”

“Remus, I am so sorry,” Lily said.

“It’s fine, I knew it had to come out eventually,” Remus said, “I just wish that I was allowed to explain in my time, in my terms. He threatened me with my own secrets, and now I don’t have a choice.”

“ _Severus, you absolute bastard_ ,” Lily said softly.

“So what’s the deal with you and Snape?” Remus asked.

“We’ve been friends since we were kids,” Lily said, “He used to be so sweet.”

“You’re kidding,” Remus laughed. He imagined that scowl had been attached to Snape at birth.

“Oh yes, once upon a time,” Lily smiled, “I was so lonely as a kid because my older sister didn’t ever have the patience to play with me. Then one day I met Severus, and everything changed. He was the most interesting boy I ever met. He would tell me about the old faerie tales and we would act them out.”

“Like what?” Remus asked.

"Oh you know, _Babbitty Rabbitty_ and _The Fountain of Fair Fortune_ ,” Lily shrugged, “That sort of thing.”

"Right,” Remus said slowly, pretending that those words didn’t sound like complete gibberish. He decided to dig deeper, “What changed?”

“When we were older and we started school he got caught up with the most ignorant and hateful people,” Lily said, “They were friends of his family, he was only doing what was expected of him. Their families have been connected for so many generations that none of them would ever question breaking that tradition.”

“What was he afraid of?” Remus asked. Snape didn’t seem the type to care what anyone thought.

“Denying them wouldn’t just mean becoming an outcast,” Lily said, “He would also be disappointing his parents. Snape has spent his entire life trying to please his father, and he was very close with his mother.”

“Was?” Remus asked.

“She’s gone,” Lily said, “Last spring.”

“Jesus,” Remus said, “I didn’t know.”

“It was a very small funeral,” Lily said, “Severus didn’t tell me about the ceremony at all until it was already over. He doesn’t tell me anything anymore.”

“You miss him,” Remus said.

“I miss who he used to be,” Lily said.

They were silent for a long time. Remus knew that he should let it go, that he should spare Lily her bitter memories and moved on to happier subjects, but he had to know. He had to ask one last thing.

“He mentioned Sirius,” Remus said in a rush, “Snape said terrible things about James and Sirius and Peter.”

“Severus has every reason to hate them,” Lily said, “James and Sirius and Peter decided early on that they hated Severus. They fought him and taunted him. They turned people against him and made his life miserable.”

“Oh,” Remus said.

“But it’s not that simple,” Lily said.

“What?” Remus asked.

“Severus and his friends have caused all sorts of trouble as well,” Lily said, “I didn’t want to believe that Severus was involved in any of that, I never had any proof one way or the other, but he never disavowed them or the terrible things they did. Even now I catch him using their words, like he’s been turned into another mouthpiece for their hatred and bitterness. Severus hates James and his friends for the way they treated him, but he wasn’t above retaliating against them. Or turning his hatred on others who didn’t deserve it.”

“Do you hate him?” Remus asked, “Snape?”

“I still care about Severus,” Lily said, “But he’s blind to his own flaws but I’m not.”

“Do you hate James and his friends?” Remus asked.

“Do I hate Sirius, you mean?” Lily smirked, “No, I don’t hate them, either. I wish I did, honestly, it would make things a lot simpler, but James and Sirius and Peter are good people, and I trust them.”

Remus swallowed, it was a lot to take in. There was so much history between them and he wasn’t sure that any of it would ever be resolved, or how he fit in to it, or what side he should take. He knew that he trusted Sirius, and his resolve strengthened knowing that Lily trusted him, too.

“Remus, there’s one last thing,” Lily said. She took a deep breath and said, “I’m so sorry for what Severus did to you.”

“It’s okay,” Remus coughed, “I’m used to it.”

“No, it’s not okay,” Lily said, “No one deserves to be treated that way, especially not you. You’re one of the kindest people I know, and you deserve so much better.”

Her words found the deepest place in his heart and soothed his darkest thoughts – thoughts that he had always assumed to be true. Remus lived with hurt and regret as old friends, but Lily saw something different.

“And you know what else?” Lily asked.

“What?” Remus croaked.

“It’s almost three,” Lily beamed.

“Goody,” Remus said, still in his swing.

“Come on, scared-y cat,” Lily said, pulling him up out of his seat, “I’m driving!”


	15. Star Crossing

Remus wasn’t looking forward to this conversation. Every time Remus imagined telling Sirius the truth he would see shock and disappointment settle on Sirius’s features, and then this bright and wondrous flirtation they shared would be over. Lily was less convinced. She had a warrior’s spirit, and refused to entertain defeatist notions.

“Sirius will understand,” Lily said, for what seemed like the hundredth time.

“What if he doesn’t?” Remus asked.

“Then he’s a bastard and good riddance,” Lily shrugged, “There are other fish in the sea, Remus.”

“I’m not looking for fish,” Remus sighed and pulled his hood over his head.

Lily drove into the parking lot behind the shop, but before she even had time to hit the lock Remus knew that something was up. A familiar laughter of a rambunctious crowd waited for them around the corner, and Remus would rather go home and leave everything unresolved than face them.

“Let’s just go,” Remus said, turning back the car.

“Nonsense, Sirius is expecting you,” Lily said, “Besides, I want a chai tea latte.”

“Lily, I’m serious, let’s get out of here,” Remus pleaded. Lily did not stop walking, Remus trailed behind in agony and in indecision. He pulled on her wrist but she slapped him away.

“I don’t know what’s gotten into you, but … oh,” Lily said.

Bellatrix Lestrange was sitting on top of a table in front of the shop, bookended by both of the Carrow twins and Barty Crouch, Jr.

Bellatrix wore all black, with round pitch-black sunglasses. She held a skinny cigarette between bruised knuckles. She looked aggressively bored. She was pointedly ignoring the loud argument between the Carrow twins, like she was an unwilling babysitter. Barty, Jr. sat by her side, attentive and ready at the slightest gesture to do whatever she commanded. Bellatrix didn’t seem to notice that he was there.

“Evans, how nice of you to show up,” Bellatrix took a long draw from her cigarette and her words were tinted with blue smoke, “And who is this? What, you get tired of Potter chasing you around so you found someone else to worship you?”

Lily reddened but she knew better than to speak. Barty smirked, and even the Carrow twins stopped fighting long enough to survey the new arrivals. Bellatrix was obviously waiting for them to make the next move.

“That’s my bike,” Remus pointed to the bike that Amycus was seated upon.

“No it’s not,” Amycus said.

“My bike was stolen this week,” Remus said, “That’s the same model and color, it even has my ASPCA sticker on it.”

“I like animals,” Amycus said.

“You’re wearing a leather jacket,” Remus said.

Just at that moment the door to the shop opened and everyone turned to see Sirius leaving the coffee shop. He pulled his hair out of his green ball cap when he looked up his eyes widened with surprise.

“Hello Cousin,” Bellatrix said sweetly. She floated out of her seat and strode to his side, where she rested her hands delicately on his shoulder – preening and smiling her toothiest smile.

“Hi Trixie,” Sirius smiled through gritted teeth, “To what do I owe the pleasure?”

“I was wondering where our sweet little Regulus has wandered off to, we’ve been so sad since he’s gone away,” Bellatrix said.

“Yeah, I’m sure you’re really broken up about it,” Sirius rolled his eyes.

Bellatrix yanked hard on Sirius’s hair sending him jolting back, “Do NOT talk back to me, Sirius. I asked a question and I expect an answer.”

Lily and Remus reached out, wanting to help, but Sirius waved them off. The Carrows sported matching lopsided grins. Barty looked positively delighted by the development.

“In case you hadn’t noticed, I’ve been excommunicated,” Sirius said, “They literally burned me out of the family tree when I left. They don’t exactly send me a newsletter to say what ‘ _Sweet Little Regulus_ ’ is doing this week.”

“Poor Little Sirius, our wayward star,” Bellatrix pecked Sirius on the cheek, he closed his eyes and shuddered. She released him and then continued in a silky voice, “The family is waiting for you whenever you’re ready.”

“Thanks,” Sirius said, massaging the back of his head.

“But don’t wait too long,” Bellatrix stared with unblinking eyes, “And if I find out that Regulus contacted you I will be  _VERY_ disappointed.”

“I wish I could do more,” Sirius said, “Better luck next time.”

“Next time,” Bellatrix nodded, and she stomped out her cigarette on the pavement as she turned to leave. She snapped her fingers and left without a backward glance, and her lackeys ran after her.

It wasn’t until the gang was out of earshot that Sirius turned to say, “Lily Evans, what ARE you doing here?”


	16. Positive (+)

Lily could not get away fast enough. In her experience Sirius Black’s mere presence was enough to conjure up James Potter out of thin air, and she simply could _not_ face him after the events of the day. She made her excuses and ran off to her car without even getting her tea, leaving Remus feeling rather abandoned.

“That was weird,” Sirius said, “How do you two know each other?”

“We don’t, really,” Remus said, “I mean, we’ve only just met. She’s a friend of Snape.”

“Right,” Sirius said, a line of irritation formed between his brows, “Snape.”

They started walking, down the sidewalk past the coffee shop and onto a side street with a little less foot traffic. Remus sighed, he didn’t want to talk about Snape.

“Does your friend James _like_ Lily?” Remus asked.

“DOES HE?” Sirius said, stopping on the sidewalk to bend over laughing, “Oh my GOD, Remus.”

“Is that a yes?” Remus asked, not getting the joke.

“I have had to listen to that boy talk about Lily Evans ever since he stopped believing in cooties,” Sirius said, continuing their walk, “Absolutely shameless. He’s mad about her, won’t SHUT UP about her.”

“Huh,” Remus said, looking both ways before crossing the street, “She doesn’t seem that impressed with him.”

“She hates him,” Sirius sighed, “But James takes it in stride. There has not been a social event for the past decade to which she has not dutifully rejected his invitation. It’s actually a tradition by now.”

“I don’t think she hates him,” Remus said.

“She say that?” Sirius asked.

“No,” Remus shrugged, “I just … I don’t think she hates him.”

“Keep on dreamin’,” Sirius said, “Now, what did you want to talk to me about?”

They were standing in front of a library. Remus grimaced. This did not seem like the place to discuss such things, but he knew in his gut that there was no good place to discuss such things. These conversations proved painful and unpleasant no matter the venue. Remus pulled Sirius into the building and he found a quiet place in the stacks behind the histories of ancient foreign wars.

“Well,” Sirius said, “What is it?”

Remus rested against the shelf but his words sat heavily on his heart, and it pained him to say them aloud.

“Remus, you can tell me, please,” Sirius said, leaning in towards him, his words husky and concerned. Remus took in a deep breath, wondering if this was it, wondering if they would ever be this close again. But he made a promise, he was going to say it, and he was going to say it now.

“I’m HIV positive,” Remus said.


	17. Battle Cry Wolf

“Oh my God,” Sirius said, stepping away.

It was only a moment, it was only a matter of inches, it was enough.

Remus began to walk away. He slipped free from any fumbling grasp that sought to bring him back, and ignored the cries to turn around. He could only feel the blood pounding in his ears. He could only see the look of fear in Sirius’s eyes.

_Was he already regretting every moment between them? Was Sirius looking back on their one short kiss with horror, questioning his own actions and promising never to repeat that mistake?_

Sirius jumped on Remus’s back and wrapped his arms around him, shouting, “Where do you think you’re going?”

“I’m Sorry!” Remus said, falling to his knees from the surprise and the weight and the confusion of it all, “I’m so sorry!”

“This is a LIBRARY!” said a frizzy brown haired girl from the children’s section.

“Sorry Miss,” Sirius said, standing to support himself and grabbing Remus’s shirt to drag him along, “We’ll just be going.”

*             *             *             *             *

Outside the library on the benches Sirius hunkered down with Remus, holding his wrist in case he tried to run away again. He waited for Remus to calm down, counting to twenty inside his own head, and then he said, “Okay, let’s try this again: You’re HIV positive.”

“Yes,” Remus croaked.

“Are you… okay?” Sirius asked.

“Right now?” Remus asked.

“Well, you’re a little emotional right now, I can see that,” Sirius said, “But I mean, generally, in terms of your health.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Remus shrugged, “I’m seeing a specialist and I’m on antiretroviral therapy. I’m still trying to find the right mix for me, but… Day-to-day I’m just as healthy as the next guy, considering.”

“Thank God,” Sirius said, “You were so freaked out, I thought you were dying.”

“Shut up,” Remus said, “You know why I was freaking out.”

“No, I don’t” Sirius said, “I don’t know what’s going on in your head, you know. You have to tell me.”

“I know how people react to this, I know better than anyone,” Remus said, “I wanted to wait until I got to know you better to tell you because… I didn’t want you to run away from me before I spent a little bit of time with you, so I could pretend, like this could actually happen.”

“You don’t want this anymore?” Sirius asked.

“You DO?” Remus asked.

“Why wouldn’t I?” Sirius said.

“I just told you I have HIV!” Remus said, he was getting angry and he didn’t understand why. Why couldn’t Sirius just be honest and tell Remus to fuck off?

“I KNOW YOU DID! YOU SAID IT VERY LOUDLY JUST NOW!” Sirius said, tilting his head at a group of kids getting out of a minivan.

Remus was embarrassed. He was standing, breathing hard, shouting about HIV in front of 6 year olds while Sirius looked at him like he was acting crazy. Remus sat down. Sirius pulled in closer.

“People live with HIV,” Sirius said, “As long as you’re taking care of yourself, and you’re honest with me, this doesn't have to be a problem.”

“You’re supposed to be mad at me,” Remus said, shoulders slumping in defeat.

“Quit being a baby,” Sirius said- he lifted Remus’s face up out of his dejection and pulled him into a kiss. It was a brief thing, a gentle reminder, and all Remus could hear was Sirius breathing. Sirius hugged him and said, “We’ll get through this, okay?”

Remus didn’t know if that was an affirmation or a battlecry, but as long as Sirius would be there with him he was willing to try. He hugged back even tighter and said, “Okay.” 


	18. With a Little Help From My Friends

**8:15 AM**

**JP: Where are my Chucks?**

**SB: I think you threw them at me this morning.**

**JP: No those are the grey ones. I’m looking for the black ones.**

_Sirius looked down. He was wearing black Converse high tops._

**SB: Keep looking.**

*             *             *             *             *

**8:25 AM**

**JP: Seriously, where are my shoes, Sirius?**

*             *             *             *             *

**8:45**

**JP: Oh yeah, ignore me, real mature**

**SB: Shut up, Remus is here.**

**JP: Intrigue!**

**JP: What’s he doing up so early  ;)**

**SB: IDK he just showed up. I’m gonna take my 15.**

**JP: Good Luck!**

*             *             *             *             *

**9:01**

**JP: SO?**

**SB: So what?**

**JP: How’d it go?**

**SB: Ugh**

**JP: :(**

**SB: It’s fine, but Snivellus showed up and ruined everything as usual.**

**JP: He is the worst >:(**

**SB: I wouldn’t even care, but Remus seemed upset. He wants to “Talk”**

**JP: “Talk”?**

**SB: After work**

**JP: Need reinforcements?**

**SB: No, I’ll be fine. Probably one of those “Talks” two chaps have alone.**

**JP: Just let me know, we’re here for you bro.**

**SB: Thanks.**

*             *             *             *             *

**2:59**

**JP: Good Luck!**

*             *             *             *             *

**3:30**

**JP: How’d it go?**

*             *             *             *             *

**3:45**

**JP: Hello?**

**JP: Sirius?**

*             *             *             *             *

**4:15**

**JP: Sirius?**


	19. We All Scream

“Where are we even going?” Peter asked.

“We are looking for Sirius,” James said from the driver’s seat of his dad’s Lincoln Town Car, “Would it kill you to pay attention for twenty seconds?”

“I know we’re looking for Sirius,” Peter grumbled, “But I have no idea where we’re going. I think we passed that Wendy’s three times already.”

“That’s not the same Wendy’s” James said.

“That is the same homeless man sitting on the bench outside,” Peter said, “He’s been working on that large Frostee ever since our first rotation.”

“1) I know where I’m going,” James responded, “2) You have no way to know if that man is actually homeless.”

“He’s carrying a cardboard sign and he is at a Wendy’s next to a homeless shelter,” Peter said, “Pardon me for extrapolating.”  

“STOP WATCHING HOMELESS GUYS EATING ICE CREAM AND START LOOKING FOR SIRIUS!” James said.

“Oh look, there he is,” Peter said, pointing up ahead at the library.

“FUCKKKKK!!!” James said, making an abrupt lane shift and decelerating to make the turn in time. Peter was glad that they had not stopped for ice cream (although he had asked the second time they passed the Wendy’s) because it would have spilled everywhere right about now.

*             *             *             *             *

Remus turned suddenly at the squealing of tires. He didn’t know who was in the car but he was pleasantly surprised when he noticed that in the excitement Sirius had grabbed his hand.

“James,” Sirius sighed.

“Excuse me?” Remus asked.

“Sirius Orion Black!” James shouted as he got out of the car. James left his door open and increased in volume as he drew nearer, “Where HAVE you been?!”

“Remus! How wonderful to see you, dear,” James said, softening momentarily.

Remus nodded his greeting back towards James and saw that while James continued his tirade Peter was unbuckling and closing the doors behind them methodically. He walked up behind James and waited for his proclamations to finish.

“Shop empty, no texts, phone off!” James said, “You could have died! You could have been converted to Scientology!”

“Of course, I don't blame you, Remus, dear,” James said sweetly.

Sirius held the back of his hand against his brow like a Southern Belle in distress, “I was just talking to Remus, Mum! I turned my phone off to be polite.”

James crossed his arms and said, “Well, you'd best hope I don't turn off my phone to be polite the next time you need a ride, Sirius Black.”

“Are you done now?” Peter said.

“Yeah, I guess,” James shrugged anti-climactically, “How did ‘The Talk’ go?”

“That is entirely none of your business,” Sirius said, crossing his arms.

“Everything’s fine,” Remus said, “How are you guys doing?”


	20. My Milkshake Brings all the Boys to the Yard

It was decided shortly afterward that the only way to alleviate the pain of awkwardness was to get ice cream. Let it be said that not all of Peter’s ideas are bad. They walked to Wendy’s as a group, Sirius and Remus lagged behind holding hands while James yelled at them to keep up.

 Sirius and Peter argued over the merits of flavors and toppings (Sirius was a staunch traditionalist but Peter loved crushed Oreos more than he loved his own mother) and James insisted on paying for everyone. Remus felt separate from the group and opted to wait outside.

While they were in line James turned to Sirius, “So, what did you two talk about then?”

“This secret isn’t mine to keep,” Sirius said, “And if you care about me at all you’ll stop asking.”

“I solemnly swear that I will not ask you about it anymore,” James said.

“On your honor?” Sirius asked.

“Dubious as it is, on my honor be it,” James said with a bow.

“Just buy the damn milkshakes, you boob,” Sirius said.

*             *             *             *             *

They walked outside carrying their drinks. Sirius also carried a lemonade for Remus due to his alleged milk allergies. Remus was sitting next to the homeless guy who by now had finished his Frosty.

“New friend, Remus?” James asked.

“No,” Remus said, “Old friend. This is Rusty, Rusty, this is James, Sirius and Peter.”

“Hello,” the man said. His voice quivered in his chest like he was out of breath. Even though he was wearing a coat and boots he looked cold. Still, he smiled just as warm as anyone.

“Hi Rusty,” James said. He switched his milkshake to his other hand and wiped it off on his jeans before he presented it to shake. Rusty offered the same courtesy of cleaning his own hand before he shook, and Peter and Sirius both shook as well.

“You be nice to Remus, he’s a good boy,” Rusty said.

“We will,” Sirius said quickly.

Rusty gave Remus the side eye and nudged him with his elbow. Remus turned the color of fresh salmon.

“We should be going, Rusty,” Remus said. Remus took the ski cap off his head and slipped it on Rusty, “Take care okay?”  

“What are you giving me this for?”

“Take it, please,” Remus said.

“You sure this isn’t a hint for me to get a haircut?” Rusty said.

“Like I could give anyone hair advice,” Remus laughed. His brown hair was sticking up in every direction in sudden shock from the release of its woolen prison. He looked positively demented. Rusty smiled.

“Thanks,” Rusty said.

*             *             *             *             *

As they walked back to the car James made it all the way out of earshot before he said, “How do you know that guy?”

“Rusty?” Remus asked, pulling his hoodie up over his ears, “He used to live in the same building as me.”

“What happened?” James asked.

“Not sure,” Remus said, “His brother used to visit all the time but then one day he stopped. Rusty left the building after that, I think the brother must have been supporting him. He isn’t really well enough to work.”

“That’s terrible,” James said.

“That’s life,” Remus said, “People fall in between the cracks.”

“They shouldn’t,” James said, a defiant fire burned in his eyes. It reminded Remus of someone else.

Sirius and Peter got in the car and Sirius left a space in the backseat for Remus to climb in after him. James however shut the door and locked it. He turned on Remus and asked him, “What are your intentions with Sirius?”

“Excuse me?” Remus asked.

Sirius knocked on the widow, annoyed and concerned. James lifted a finger to gesture, ‘ _One Second.’_

“Sirius is my best mate,” James said, “And as much as I love his passion and his recklessness I also see how often he gets hurt. Are you going to hurt him?”

Sirius knocked harder, able to make out enough of the conversation to disagree with it. He tried to open the door but James relocked it.

“I don’t want to hurt anyone,” Remus said, “Least of all him.”

“Sirius won’t tell me what you two talked about today,” James said, “He never keeps secrets from me.”

Remus was both happy for Sirius’s confidence and sad about James’s insecurity. Remus could imagine James and Sirius as young children telling each other everything, all the precious secrets a seven year old can keep from parents. Now to the adult James the idea of that bond being broken was tearing him apart. Remus actually felt sorry for him, he never thought that he would feel sorry for a man like James Potter.

“What I told Sirius was private,” Remus said, “But I don’t want my life to be a secret he keeps from his friends.”

Sirius banged on the window for James to open up and Remus leaned in towards James to whisper in his ear.


	21. Glow in the Dark Dick

Back in the car everything was quiet. Sirius fumed, Remus was tight lipped, and James looked a little shocked. Peter quickly grew impatient.

“Would someone bother to tell me what the fuck is going on?” Peter said.

“Remus?” James asked.

Remus sighed and said, “I have HIV.”

“Oooooh,” Peter said, “Okay.”

“Okay?” Remus asked.

“Well, yeah, I guess it makes sense that you would be a little touchy about that. It is personal,” Peter shrugged and picked up his magazine again.

“No judgment, Moony,” James said.

“Moony?” Remus asked.

“Because of your name,” Sirius said, “You were named after the wolf prince of Rome? James wanted to call you Wolfy McWolf but I said that it was kind of a mouthful.”

“So that’s like my nickname now?” Remus asked.

“Your secret nickname,” Sirius said, “I’m Padfoot because I’m named after the dog star.”

“I’m Prongs,” James said, “Because I cry whenever we watch Bambi.”

“And I’m Wormtail,” Peter said, “Because I like cheese.”

“I can’t believe you guys have secret codenames,” Remus huffed out a laugh, “It’s like a Bond movie.”

“What do you think of your name?” Sirius asked.

“Beats Wolfy McWolf,” Remus said.

“It’s settled then,” James said, “From now on we are Messrs. Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs.”

“Has a good ring to it,” Sirius said.

“I’m on board,” Peter said.

Remus couldn’t believe it. He couldn’t have asked for a clearer invitation into the fold than to be given his own moniker. Were these his friends now?

“I’m sorry to hear about your health problems, Moony,” James said, “I feel like an absolute shit about making you tell me.”

“It’s fine James,” Remus said.

“No it’s not, Remus,” Sirius said, “You go ahead and feel like shit, Prongs, you earned it.”

“Well, I was thinking about a recompense,” James said.

 “You don’t have to,” Remus started.

“No, let me say this,” James said, “If one of our friends has an STI, we should all get tested.”

“Huh?” Peter said.

“Solidarity,” James said, “And as a way to be responsible for our future partners.”

“That’s … really sweet of you James,” Sirius said, “I like that idea. Count me in.”

“Fine,” Peter said, “I doubt I have dick rot unless the latest miracle of Jesus Christ is immaculate venereal disease, but I’ll humor you guys if you want.”

“Haha, gross,” James smiled.

*             *             *             *             *

Outside of a clinic downtown the following Saturday the boys were self-consciously regrouping after their clinical encounters. It would be a couple days until all the tests results came in but the visit had been informative for everyone.

James opened his bag and showed the boys his haul: 36 condoms (he had counted) of various colors and styles.

"I can't believe you took that many," Sirius laughed, "Well, actually I can."

James thought back to his appointment. The nurse had been so kind and patient with him. As a part of her lecture she offered up the large glass fishbowl of condoms just like a person offers a bowl of candy to children on Halloween. James had been prudent, grabbing two from the large collection. "For the road," he said, smiling. She smiled politely back, and rose to deliver his samples to a separate room for testing. It was then, left unsupervised and uninterrupted, that the fishbowl of contraception shone in his eyes: glittering and full of promise.

James started grabbing them in handfuls and shoved into the dark recesses of his shoulder bag while he waited for the nurse to return. He couldn't stop himself once he started; he imagined all the nights of pleasure that might follow and his desire outweighed his shame. The nurse didn't say anything when she noticed the fishbowl (the supply noticeably lower than before) and James was too embarrassed to mention it.

"Do you think I should return them?" James said, looking over the contents of his bag. His voice trailed off with doubt and his eyebrows raised reluctantly.

"James, please don't worry about it," Remus said, "The condoms are free. They WANT you to take them!"

"Right," James sighed.

"You have to admit, though, that is a bit much," Peter said.

"Well then, Peter," James said, "How many did you grab?"

"Three," Peter said.

"Just three?" James said, "Be a little more ambitious than that! Why would you only grab three?"

"I wanted the glow in the dark ones," Peter shrugged.

"You're shitting me," James said.

James stopped in his tracks and immediately scoured his supply for some kind of trade. Peter and James compared the merits of lubricant and ribbing and flavors merrily for several minutes and Remus took Sirius aside for a moment to say, "You didn't have to do this. I can't believe you all went to so much trouble."

"You're one of us now. We got your back," Sirius said, "Besides, it doesn't hurt anyone to be safe."

Behind Sirius and Remus, James and Peter started chanting, “ONE OF US, ONE OF US, ONE OF US!”

Sirius reddened and said, “Oh my god, grow up!”

Sirius was then pelted with a maelstrom of multicolored condoms.


	22. Americans are the Worst

The results of the tests were predictable. James, Sirius, and Peter tested negative for each of the STI’s the clinic tested them for- although they did receive a lengthy lecture about the proper uses of protection, and the importance of follow up appointments, ending with a horrific and frankly excessive slide show of the symptoms of various viral and bacterial infections.

_James took it upon himself to make proper use of his prophylactics and proceeded to fill his condoms with water to pelt at Sirius and Peter at surprising moments. Aqueous dicks so engorged that they no longer resembled the member they were designed to cover, and so tight that they exploded on impact. James’s preferred tactic was to strike whenever his prey least suspected it, such as when they woke up or when they walked out of the shower. Peter refused to react because he knew that annoyance or fear only encouraged James, but Sirius mounted a counter-offensive and the ‘Water Balloon Condom War’ took place sporadically for the next several weeks._

Also during that visit Remus and Sirius were taken into a separate room where the doctor explained the risks, the proper use of condoms, and the medications Remus was on to control his condition- their effects and limitations. Sirius expected to be warned away entirely, but the conversation was actually directed towards safety, not abstinence. Sirius felt very adult, the room was bright and sterile looking. Remus looked off to the side at a large glass jar full of tongue depressors.

There was an anatomy poster on the wall of a baby cocooned within a woman's transparent womb. The baby was very clean considering that it was swimming in amniotic fluid. _Pay Attention, Sirius_ , he chided himself.

*             *             *             *             *

Sirius spent that night at Remus's apartment. James promised to pass on Sirius's regrets that he would miss dinner at the Potter's that evening, but when Sirius and Remus got out of the car James and Peter kept winking at them like they were having some sort of spasm.

"Go home, wankers," Sirius said, rolling his eyes as he slammed the car door (a little louder than was strictly necessary). Sirius kept walking but Remus looked around and laughed at the exaggerated kissy faces James and Peter made from the car.

"Relax, they're just having a little fun," Remus said as James and Peter drove away.

"If I know James, and I do-" Sirius said, "He's pretty much decided we're getting married. He's a hopeless romantic, emphasis on hopeless."

"There are worse things to be," Remus said. Sirius smiled.

It seemed very quiet when the car was gone, leaving Remus and Sirius with only each other for company. It was their first night together. The afternoon's formalities were a necessary step before Remus could be comfortable with Sirius (he needed Sirius to know what he was getting into) but he certainly didn't expect that an STD panel would be an "All-Clear" for hooking up or fooling around. Remus had no idea what to do or what to expect. In fact, Remus had never had anyone stay at his place over-night before besides Gilderoy, and **_he_** had been paying rent!

"Want to order Indian food and watch bad horror movies?" Sirius asked.

"Hell yeah," Remus said.

*             *             *             *             *

The evening started with Vegetable Vindaloo and Garlic Naan washed down with cheap beer while they watched an _American Werewolf in London_ , followed by more cheap beer and an _American Werewolf in Paris_. The evening melted the daylight away until all that was left was the blue light of the old television set cast on the entwined youths on the sofa.

"What would you say the moral of the story is?" Remus asked. A CGI werewolf was tearing apart a Metro Rail while French people screamed. Sirius leaned heavily on Remus's shoulder and he rested his beer on Remus's knee. Remus sighed and rested his head atop of Sirius's.

"That remakes suck?" Sirius said. Sirius wrapped his hand around Remus's.

"True," Remus said.

"That American tourists ruin everything?" Sirius continued. Sirius turned to kiss Remus slowly on the mouth. It tingled, even burned. How much of that was residual curry Remus couldn’t say.

Sirius pushed Remus to the side so that his back leaned against the arm of the sofa and he crawled over Remus, one knee resting on either side. He kissed him slowly, patiently, but then settled in over the top of Remus. His ear rested against Remus’s chest, so that he heard his heartbeat thundering away deep inside.

“Sirius?” Remus asked.

“ _Shhh_ ,” Sirius said, “I want to see how this ends.”

The werewolf howled menacingly into the night, and the people fled.


End file.
